Mind In Motion: Teaching Metacognition

Admittedly, metacognition is one of the hardest skills for me to “teach.” Not because it’s overly complex, but because our fast-paced world often pushes us to value efficiency over reflection. Like many parents (and educators), I tend to move quickly—checking off items on my to-do list and giving directions just to get things done.

At work, I might see a problem and jump in to fix it myself, rather than pause and ask others how they’d approach it. At home, if homework needs to be finished before Sunday Night Football for example,  I’ve been known to bark out orders to “just get started.” I’ve even signed a science test and pointed out every mistake—thinking I was being helpful—when in reality, I was robbing my child of a much more valuable opportunity: to reflect, ask questions, and make a plan for learning from those errors.

In both cases, I wasn’t just solving problems—I was unintentionally stepping in front of someone else’s chance to think critically and grow.

Thankfully, I’ve learned from those moments. These days, I try to slow down and give others the space to process information and act on it themselves.

So, what is metacognition?

Metacognition is simply “thinking about your thinking.” It’s the ability to reflect on how you learn, evaluate what you do and don’t understand, and make a plan for how to improve. It’s that voice in your head asking: “Do I get this?” “Is this working?” “What could I try differently next time?”

You might spot a toddler using metacognitive skills when they finish coloring a picture and step back to see if it looks how they imagined. They may decide to add more blue to the sky or fix a spot they missed.

A student with strong metacognition might meet with a teacher after receiving a lower grade than expected. Instead of brushing it off or blaming the teacher, they ask: “Where did I go wrong?” and take notes to improve their next paper.

Or think about the employee who gives a presentation and then asks his colleagues for feedback. When he learns he says “um” a little too often, he makes a plan to be more mindful in his next talk.

In my case? I’ve learned to pause when I’m tempted to jump in and “help.” I’ve realized that giving someone space to struggle a bit or think through a solution is helping—just in a different way. It’s helping them develop self-awareness, independence, and confidence in their own thinking.

It’s encouraging to learn that while young minds are still developing (research shows us that Executive Functioning Skills don’t fully mature until the late 20’s, and even later for children with attentional, behavioral and/or learning challenges), we can absolutely help strengthen their metacognitive muscles at home. 

Here are two of my favorite strategies you can start trying today:

LEAD WITH CURIOSITY:  The next time your teen is sitting idle or tells you they have a big Social Studies exam coming up next week, fight the urge to dispense advice or give directives. Instead, try “I’m curious, what do you think would help you right now to prepare for school tomorrow? Or “What strategy would you use to study for your upcoming Social Studies test?” or “What do you think you should do next?” 

You see, when we ask rather than tell, our children aren't just answering—they’re thinking. They're developing problem-solving skills, and more importantly, they’re taking ownership of the process.

CREATE (AND MODEL) THE HABIT OF REFLECTION:  Whether it's during a car ride, at the dinner table, or part of a bedtime routine, build in moments to reflect together.

Don’t forget to share your own reflections, too. When we admit mistakes, take risks, and show how we self-correct, our actions speak louder than lectures. You’re modeling the very skill you want to teach. 

Questioning prompts like "What's something you learned today?”, “What’s something you struggled with?”, “What helped you get through it?”, “Is there anything you’d do differently next time?”

The goal isn’t to force deep insights every night—it’s about creating a habit of reflection. Over time, kids start to internalize this practice and apply it to schoolwork, relationships, and problem-solving.

I think of metacognition as a lifelong work in progress. The more we help our children reflect on their thinking, the more resilient and self-directed they become—not just in school, but in life. Small moments of reflection build over time into big gains in confidence, independence, and learning.

So be patient. Be curious. And most of all—enjoy the conversations that come from slowing down and thinking together.