From Stuck to Started: Simple Ways to Boost Your Child’s Task Initiation
Can you imagine how splendid it would be if you said to your child “Honey, it's time to do your homework, clean your room, or take out the garbage,” and your child’s response was, “Okay mother/father, I’ll get right on that!”
Sounds like a scene straight out of a 1950s episode of Leave It to Beaver, right? I’m pretty confident that kind of exchange is not happening in my house… and I’m guessing, probably not in yours either! 😂😂😂
But think about it: how quickly do YOU move to clean out the garage, empty the dishwasher, or write a report for work???
This all comes down to task initiation: the ability to start a task, especially when you don’t feel like it. It’s that first step—opening the math book, picking up the laundry from your bedroom floor, or turning on your laptop to work on the presentation you’ve been avoiding.
Let’s be honest—we’ve all been there. Adults, teens, tweens, and kids alike can come up with a million excuses to avoid doing something we know needs to get done. What often looks like procrastination or laziness is usually something deeper: a challenge with task initiation, one of the brain’s core executive function skills.
For kids (and for many of us adults too), getting started can sometimes feel like pushing a boulder uphill. It’s not about being lazy - it’s about the brain needing a little extra support to kick into gear.
Wouldn’t it be nice if a simple “Just do it,” like the famous Nike slogan, actually worked when you needed your child to get moving? Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. The brain’s prefrontal cortex—responsible for executive functions like planning, prioritizing, and task initiation—is still developing well into a person’s mid-20s. For children with learning or attentional challenges, this development may take even longer.
In my coaching practice, I work with students to develop targeted strategies to address task avoidance. Below are a few approaches you can try at home to support your child’s ability to get started more easily and independently:
Collaborative Planning with Visual Tools: Consider involving your child in planning for upcoming events, chores and daily expectations. Record dates/times on a family calendar. Providing visual tools - such as a calendar - makes plans feel more concrete and helps to reduce the mental load.
Break Down or CHUNK big tasks. Overwhelm is a major barrier to getting started, especially with larger or open-ended tasks. Helping them to break down tasks into bite -sized, actionable steps over time can be very empowering. For example, if your child has to submit a plan for their community service project, talk to them about their interests in order to select their project.Then make a to-do list of next steps (e.g., research organizations, email a contact, gather materials) and assign mini-deadlines for each. Suddenly, the mountain becomes a staircase.
Create Consistent Routines.When daily expectations are clear and predictable, your child doesn’t have to spend extra mental energy figuring out what to do and when. That saved energy can go straight into doing the task. Routines don’t just create structure—they reduce resistance.
Be A Body Double. Sometimes just sitting nearby while your child starts a task can make a world of difference! You don’t have to help - just being there shows support and helps them get over that initial hump. This is often referred to as “body doubling”. It can ease anxiety and boost focus. and it works for many adults too!
Offer Praise and Reinforcement for Starting. Don’t wait until the task is finished to celebrate! Catch your child in the act of starting and praise that effort. A simple, “I noticed you started your homework right after dinner—awesome job taking initiative!” can go a long way in reinforcing the behavior you want to see more of.
Helping your child build task initiation skills doesn’t mean turning them into robots who jump at every chore. It’s about giving their growing brain the tools, support, and confidence to take that all-important first step.
Start small, stay consistent, and remember—it’s totally normal for kids (and adults!) to need a little push to get going. With the right strategies in place, you’ll be hearing fewer groans and seeing more get-it-done moments.
And who knows…maybe one day you will get that “Okay, I’ll get right on that!” 😉
