1: THE POWER OF PAUSE: INSTILLING THE ART OF INHIBITORY CONTROL

In simple terms, inhibitory control is our brain’s ability to “step on the brakes” before acting on impulse. Easier said than done, right?

The ability to self-regulate- controlling our thoughts, emotions, and actions in a socially appropriate way-can be challenging for anyone. Now imagine how much harder it is for a child, teen, or young adult who’s just beginning to explore their independence.

So, how can we support young people as they learn to navigate this complex skill? Below are a few simple but incredibly powerful strategies that you can implement today:

MODEL - One of the most effective ways children learn is by observing how their parents respond to everyday situations. Take, for example, a moment when you’re driving with your child and find yourself stuck in heavy traffic. The stress of stop-and-go congestion is compounded when another driver suddenly cuts you off. How you respond in that moment can speak volumes. If you choose to yell, respond with a gesture or slam your hand on the horn,, you might release some frustration-but you also risk escalating the situation and modeling reactive behavior. On the other hand, if you take a deep breath, stay calm, and focus on driving safely, you demonstrate self-regualtion and composure-skills that your child can learn to emulate.

VALIDATE - Sometimes life is just hard-and there’s nothing we can do to fix the situation. But even when we can’t solve the problem, we can still support our child by recognizing their emotional experience. Validation means noticing what they’re feeling, naming it, and acknowledging their efforts to cope. This simple act can have a might effect. It helps young people to feel seen and understood, which strengthens their ability to self-regulate in difficult moments.

FOR EXAMPLE :

*When you’re stuck in a a long line, you might say, “Waiting can be really frustrating, and I think you’re doing a great job staying calm.”

*If your ten wasn’t invited to a social event they were hoping to attend, try: “It’s really disappointing to be left out. I know that hurts- and I admire how you’re handling it.

Validation doesn’t mean fixing th problem or minimizing their feelings - it means walking alongside them and showing them that their emotions mattr. That connection can be on of the most powerful tools in building resilience.

GAMES - Good, old fashioned games are a tried and tru medium that works to not only strengthen our connection with our children but build appropriate strategies to self regulate. The cherry on top? They are just fun!! For many, “old school” games have become a novlety and for that reason, a truly engaging experience. From young to old, playing games require turn taking, patience, cooperation and the ability to deal with winning and losing. Can you recall any of these games: RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT 123, Go Fish, Trouble, Jenga, UNO??

MEDITATION/BREATHING - Taking intentional breaths is a proven way to manage stress, lower anxiety and regulate our emotions more effectively. Inviting your child to join you in a short meditation or deep breathing activity (there are thousands of age appropriate videos on YOUTUBE) can not only provide you child with an excellent strategy, it can prove to be a fun experience that will work to strengthen your connection. Additionally, modeling your own deep breathing at home when life gets chaotic - as it can in very household- is a great opportunity to demonstrate this skill!

Helping our kids grow strong executive function skills doesn’t require perfection - just small, intentional moments where we can model, support, and connect with them in everyday life.